I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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