Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
