listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
