we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i out mim tonsoeep
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
