I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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