dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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