I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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