I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
