tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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