I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
