Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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