Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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