We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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