So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
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I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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