so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
