I haven't been this sober since birth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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