I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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