I think I died a long time ago.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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