I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
