i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
