I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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