he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
