I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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