Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
