The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
