Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
