should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
