Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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