this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
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So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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