It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
