haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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