1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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