Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
