i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
splinters make it hard to masturbate
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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