Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
