i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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