put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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