How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
