i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
