So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
