Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Randomize
