"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
