Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
