i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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