How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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