Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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