I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
