More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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