does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize