thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Couch. On fire.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
