your thong is hanging out like whoa
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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