Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
