all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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