my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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