I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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