Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
