So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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