If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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