she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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