Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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