Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
