I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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