dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
