Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
